This is a question that many cancer patients have a hard time struggling with. Should I tell my family and friends or should I keep this devastating secret to myself?
I believe that most with hearing this devastating diagnosis withdraw within themselves. This is normal for the first few days. We need to get our minds wrapped around this news.
In my own case, I shut down for the first couple of days. I even refused to let myself think about this diagnosis. Today, I believe that I needed to let the shock ware off before my mind was going to allow any type of thinking about this subject. As I said, this only lasted a couple of days before I found the diagnosis surfacing in my mind. I have no idea what this is called medically. I just know how I handled the diagnosis.
When I got up this morning intending to write this post, I first turned on the TV to watch some to the ‘Today’ show to catch up on the news. Much to my surprise Lester Holt was interviewing four African American Gentlemen who were diagnosed, with a form of cancer, at the same time. They were life long friends but did not tell each other about their cancer for years. These Gentlemen have written a book about this very subject ‘too tell or not too tell’.
The book is titled ‘You Have Cancer’. For an excerpt of this book, click HERE.
After coming to terms with my diagnosis, I realized that YES, I needed to tell Family and Friends. I have always been a very open person. There is nothing in my life that my family and friends that is a secret. For some reason, this seems to help to come to better conclusions about a problem and it definitely makes me feel better.
Yes, it worked this time. I only had to tell one person to stop feeling sorry for me. I could read this in their eyes. I did not need their sympathy; I needed their advice and support. Support is very vital in this game. The support and advice that I got from family and friends brought me to the conclusion that
I WAS GOING TO FIGHT THIS DISEASE WITH EVEY FIBER OF MY BEING.
Moreover, eight years later, I am STILL winning. I am ALIVE. Do not kid yourself, I do have down days because of this disease but overall it is mostly UP. When I was hashing this over in my mind in 2000, I just asked for another ten years. In 2010, I will be asking for another five years because by then I will be in my seventy-seventh year.
Not bad Ah!
It has been an excellent run.
Posted on January 12th, 2008 by Neil
Filed under: A Fighting Attitude, My Cancer, To Tell Or Not To Tell
Neil,
This article is so touching and full of information that will surely bless
the ones that read it. I’m so proud of you. Thanks for sharing your
story. Great work!
Its a very difficult decision telling family. I know my family has been there, a couple of times. Great article for those who need to make the decision and it is a big one.
Always look forward to you inspirational posts! Denise http://www.thegardenersrake.com
I always keep things to myself, your article make me realize that
it is important to have your family at this very critical phase of your life.
Thank you for sharing.
Mal,http://millionpowertool.com
[…] Without those three, I do not know how I would have handled things. As I stated in my post ‘To tell Or Not To Tell’, talking to Family and Friends was the best therapy for me. I needed to talk about it. I did not […]